Aperture: The Timey Wimey Chronicles
by AliceofGaming
Summary: GLaDOS was not at all pleased with the blue box that had materialized in her facility, and the Doctor and Rose were just being their curious selves. Set after the events of Portal 2, and at no specific point in season 2 of Doctor Who
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm baaaack! And this time with a delicious crossover fic with two lovely new fandoms! Feel free to point out any OOC-ness that might accidentally occur so that it may be fixed!

It was a fairly standard day at the Enrichment Center. Testing had been going as planned, and everything was going quite smoothly in general. A _very _welcome change from when that Moron had been allowed to run things. The robots from the Co-operative Testing wing were going through some routine maintenance, so GLaDOS was occupying herself with reviewing old testing footage archived from before she was put online.

Ah, humans, the silly little creatures. They were admittedly more entertaining than the robots she had now. It was very interesting to watch the old videos and work out just how their funny little brains worked. She sometimes missed the Monster that she'd kicked out, but knew that it really was what made the most logical sense. She was smart, especially for a human, and she had proven to be more of a problem than an interesting subject. None of the humans she'd found in the vault had turned out to be very viable test subjects either, but for other reasons, such as being unable to keep themselves alive or having brain damage, so it was just her and her loyal robot testers Orange and Blue, and that was just fine, for the most part.

She was continuing happily with her work, sorting out a new test course to set the robots on when she was alerted to activity in one of the test chambers. She quickly checked and confirmed that Orange and Blue were still in the Maintenance wing, only just finishing up.

_Strange. There shouldn't be anyone in the facility other than them. _GLaDOS thought, and if she'd had the ability to, she would have frowned. She considered all of this for only a few picoseconds before deciding that it must be one of those wretched birds that had managed to survive underground likely due to one of Mr Johnson's DNA modification ventures. With a hypothetical glare, she activated the cameras in that wing and sought out the pests, determined to find out where they were all hiding and flood the place with neurotoxin, but what she found was a bit more shocking:

A blue wooden box. A police box from the fifties, apparently. Now how had that managed to appear in her facility? Granted, if it had shown up in _fifties_ Aperature, she might have just accepted the fact that it must have always been there and continue testing as normal. She never did do much looking around in those areas. The few cameras that were down there were broken, save two or three, so she could only have look around from Blue or Orange's point of view, and they were much to easily distracted for that to be a very productive use of her time.

GLaDOS had still not determined what to do with the box when two people stepped out, looking around. One of them was a blonde girl, likely in her early twenties or late teens, and the other a male that seemed to be about thirty or so, his brown hair sticking up at numerous gravity defying angles. She watched them curiously, wondering what two people were doing in a small blue box and still not sure how they'd managed to get said box several stories underground.

"So where are we now?" the girl asked. The man answered as he stepped over to the sign detailing the hazards of the test chamber near the elevator, pulling out a pair of black-rimmed glasses and studying it.

"Earth, 2300 or so. A few miles underground, it would seem. Some sort of science facility by the look of it. It's got fairly advanced technology, but it must have been closed off from the rest of the world for years. I don't remember hearing anything about this place."

"It seems kind of abandoned. There aren't any people around." the blonde replied, then frowned. "But how could it still be running if there isn't anyone here. Everything's still clean and everything."

"And it looks like someone's watching us," The bespectacled man turned and looked directly into one of the cameras that had been following them, smiling.

"Hello!"

"Who are you, and how did you get into my facility?" GLaDOS growled, curious but still very annoyed at something so illogical happening on her watched. She was going to get answers.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Continuing! Thanks for the reviews! They really motivate me to keep writing! Also I listened to nightcore while writing this. :P

* * *

"I'm the Doctor, and this here is my friend Rose," The man smiled into the camera, taking out a pen-like device with a glowing blue tip, pointing it at the camera. The device made a high-pitched whirring sound, and GLaDOS suddenly felt like something was scanning her and going through her files. She quickly set to tracing the signal back while still keeping a close eye on the intruders. "Judging by the voice, the place is controlled by some sort of computer, though it could just be some sort of voice disguise thing or AI, seeing as it clearly feels some possessiveness over the place, but I'm having trouble scanning it. It could just be an automated system. I ought to get a voice thingy for the TARDIS, though, it would be great fun. Would _have_ to have a Dalek setting." He laughed, and Rose started to giggle a bit herself, but both were cut off when the device he was holding violently vaporized from his hands with a metallic screech.

"Non-vital testing apparatus destroyed. All subjects are reminded that the use of devices deemed unneccesary for testing is strictly prohibited." GLaDOS droned, carefully returning to a robotic monotone, deciding that alerting them to the fact that she was sentient might not be he best idea at the moment.

"No! Not the sonic screwdriver! I love my screwdriver..." The Doctor whined almost frantically.

_I'd best get rid of this box too._ GLaDOS decided. It was to big to fizzle, so she settled for throwing it in a corner out of the way.

"Doctor, it took the TARDIS!" Rose cried out, as the Doctor was too distracted by the loss of his screwdriver to notice the police box being carried away.

"No, no no!" he cried. "It's going to be one of these days again isn't it? I just wanted to have a nice picnic in a wheat field. No aliens, no robots, nothing trying to kill us, not even any random _humans_ getting themselves in trouble nearby! Just a nice normal day off. Why can't I ever have one of those, Rose?" Rose watched the Doctor with an interesting mix of amusement towards his frustrated outburst and uneasiness due to the loss of their mode of transportation.

"I don't know," Rose shrugged. "Maybe the TARDIS didn't like the idea you dropping her off in the middle of a boring old wheat field and leaving her there for the day." she replied half-jokingly with a hint of a smile on her face.

GLaDOS continued watching them try to completely assess the situation she had placed them in while she decided what to do. The man, though seemingly a bit lost when refused his device and blue box, was obviously not just a stupid smelly human. Perhaps smelly and human, but not _stupid_. Anyone who had managed to get an object of that size that deep into her facility had to be at least somewhat intelligent. She considered putting them into testing. She had very much missed having human test subjects, and here were two perfectly good ones standing there ready to be tested. She slipped effortlessly into standard protocol.

"Thank you for volunteering for testing. You each will be escorted to short-term relaxation vaults and will begin testing within the next forty-eight hours." She droned. A light blue gas began to fill the room from the vents. The pair of intruders paused in their banter, and a troubled look passed over their faces.

"Oi, what is this stuff, Doctor?" Rose coughed, pulling her jacket to her face to try and filter some of the air.

"Some sort of gas, obviously. Knockout gas, I think." he coughed, but was clearly taking it a bit better than her. As if on cue, Rose stumbled and fell to the clean white floor, unconsious. The Doctor half ran, half stumbled to her side, taking her wrist and double-checking to make sure that his assumption that it was only non-lethal knockout gas was correct. Satisfied that she still had a steady pulse, he slipped his fingers up into her hand and held it firmly before falling unconsious next to her.

GLaDOS transferred them both into separate relaxation vaults. Now to decide whether to have them test together or separately...


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: We're just about ready to get to the testing bit. I'm going to have the Doctor and Rose go throught the tests that were in the first Portal game, as I am most familiar with those test chambers and whatnot. Enjoy!

* * *

Now that GLaDOS's new test subjects were in stasis, she could properly scan them over and place them in testing. She started with the blond girl. Scans showed that she was a typical human female of age nineteen. There were a few traces of abnormal exposure to a couple of unknown substances, but the substances did not seem to be harmful in any way, and GLaDOS merely shrugged it off as a result of whatever was going on on the surface, and created a new file for her labeled "[UNKNOWN], Rose", and sent her to the relaxation vault for the track she'd chosen.

When GLaDOS scanned the man, however, she found something a bit more suprising than a few small traces of unknown chemicals and DNA. Despite his human appearance, he very obviously was not of the homosapian variety. His internal body temperature was much cooler than the average human's, and his DNA was not that of a human being. The big tip-off, however, was his binary vascular system, the thing that had originally caused her to run the extra scan on his DNA. She checked her records and found no experiments Aperture had done in the past that matched up with him, so she labeled him as an unknown humanoid, rather than human, labeled him fit for testing, then placed him in his relaxation vault.

GLaDOS had decided to have them test separately, but run identical testing tracks so that she could compare them. The girl would run the same track that the Monster had, and the man would run its double. She double checked that their jumpsuits and long fall boots were the proper fit to avoid any unneccessary and non-test-caused injury that might become a variable otherwise, and took a few picoseconds to review the testing protocol for the track before setting the timer for the testing to begin in an hour while the man's test chamber finished rebuilding it. The only time she'd touched the track was to fetch the old handheld portal device from it when she'd been reawakened, and she'd only really bothered to fix up the new tests for the Monster to solve. The original that the girl was going to go through only needed to be dusted off a bit and moved, however. In the meantime, she would occupy herself with the police box.

She gave it another quick scan to be sure it wasn't just a funny blue box made of wood, and, much like she expected, it wasn't. There was some strange energy emanating from the center of it, something very strong, and she wanted to get in there and figure out what it was, for science. The box, however, had other ideas. Its doors kept firmly shut, no matter how she poked and prodded. She quickly summoned her robot testers to get to work on the problem while she observed the new subjects.

"Do _not_ break it." She commanded sharply before turning her attention to her new subjects, ready to begin testing.

* * *

Rose stretched and sat up slowly, very groggy and having a bit of difficulty remembering what had gotten her there in the first place. She was in some sort of bed thing and could hear a radio playing festively nearby. She got up, and looked around, beginning to recall what had happened earlier. Rose appeared to be in a small glass room with no visible exit, and this unnerved her. _I was with the Doctor... And then..._

"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center..."

The computerized voice chimed. Rose froze, now remembering fully where she was. A hint of panic stirred up inside of her stomach, and she looked around a bit frantically. Last time she'd been knocked out and locked in a room...

"Doctor?" she called, but there was no answer. She was alone.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long guys. You know. Life and stuff.

* * *

At the same time that the girl was reawakening, the alien was also being revived. He bounced back from his gas-induced sleep a bit more quickly than the blonde, and GLaDOS noted it. Perhaps his alien nature allowed him to metabolize toxins faster. The girl had seemed to have been roused a bit more quickly due to the rush of adrenaline and panic from being separated from her friend, but it seemed like he had awoken only because the sedative's effect had worn off. He stood up only a few seconds after awakening, a cold and calculating gaze sweeping over the room. _Very scientific,_ GLaDOS noted once more, slightly impressed. _The human did call him a doctor. _

While she had been observing all of this, GLaDOS had also been reciting the same speech that the girl was listening to, not that she would have bothered to do so if protocol had not required it. Neither the human nor the alien seemed to be listening to it. The sensors in the blonde's jumpsuit showed that her heart was racing, though she was now more calm outwardly. _She's used to danger then. She must usually be with the man though. The panic seemed to be more from being suddenly separated on top of the danger._ These two were certainly interesting. GLaDOS finished her speech and decided to drop everything else unimportant and focus on her newly-aquired subjects.

* * *

The computer had just finished its monotone introduction to the facility, though the Doctor hadn't paid it much mind. Instead, he'd walked over to the small white table and picked up a clipboard that was sitting next to a radio. The clipboard had paper with what looked like hazard symbols printed on it. He casually threw the clipboard at the wall behind him . Next, he picked up an empty coffee mug and followed his urge to lick it. Old. A bit dusty. He connected this with the empty observation room connected to the chamber. _Abandoned. Or the workers are too lazy to bother. The computer can run the place easily. Why should they worry about an extra break once in a while for a coffee? Typical._ Both ideas seemed plausible. He'd have to make a few more observations before he decided. Normally he'd use the sonic to do a basic scan for life, but it had been destroyed by the computer. He could _really_ use the screwdriver now. The looping song on the radio was catchy, but starting to get on his nerves. Why was everything so white? Like that timer over there. (_Oh, what's that for? Guess I'll just have to wait and see._) He felt like he'd landed in the middle of a gigantic Apple store. iPlanet. Everything is white and shiny and has the brand name or logo plastered on it somewhere. Nothing against Macs, of course. Nice stuff for the time.

By the time the Doctor had stopped his rambling thoughts to look over at the timer above a white panel, it only had a few seconds left. He stopped his racing, and quite frankly a bit confusing, train of thought and waited to see what would happen at the end of the countdown.

"The portal will open in three, two, one." The computer droned in time with the timer. An orange, oval-shaped hole opened up in the panel in front of him. He looked through it, noticing that he wasn't seeing what was on the other side of the wall, but... Himself?

Yes it was definitely him. From a different angle? Was he wearing a jumpsuit? And those boots. What were those, and had he really been so lost in thought earlier that he hadn't noticed the bright orange jumpsuit he was wearing? He looked over to the right and found another oval on a wall outside of the glass room he was contained in. "So basic quantum tunneling technology? I don't remember this being around until another hundred years or so,"He muttered to himself. "Is it safe?"

"These intra-dimensional gates have been proven to be completely safe." the computer stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh, so you can hear me?" the Doctor responded, now a bit more interested in the computer than the portals. "And respond, it would seem. Lovely place you've got here. Could do with some more color though. Maybe a flower pot with some daisies in it or a nice painting. What do you think?"

No response. Okay. Programmed to respond to certain questions. It may be sentient, but he wasn't sure about that either. There was a lot he didn't know about this place, and he didn't like it. He focused his attention back to the fiery portal in front of him. He picked up the coffee mug and tossed it through to see if it would melt or disintegrate. It didn't. Instead it passed through with a light "whoosh" sound and shattered on the ground outside of the blue oval to his right. With a good grasp of how the portals worked and the hope that it would do as well with him as it did the small inanimate object (minus the shattering), he leaped through.


	5. Chapter 5

Everything was going quite well for GLaDOS. These two were certainly giving her interesting data to work with. Especially the man. Assuming he behaved, she could use him for a long time. It would be extremely interesting to compare the alien's results to the Monster. He was going even faster than her. In fact, he'd made it to the fifteenth test chamber faster than any other test subject. The female wasn't doing too bad herself, but she lagged a few test chambers behind him.

* * *

The Doctor leaned against the wall of the elevator and caught his breath. He was used to running around a lot, but after fifteen chambers worth of portaling, flinging, running, and jumping through tests he was getting a bit tired. How long had he been testing? It was always lit inside the chambers, and there were no clocks or anything to indicate the passage of time. He, being a Timelord, generally had a great sense of time, but even this was a bit foggy at this point.

He had to get to Rose. He'd been looking for a way out of the tests, but it looked like the only way out was to complete them. He would get through them as quickly as possible and then find her. If she was running the same course, she would have already faced the dangerous acid and those high energy pellets that could vaporize a person in the blink of an eye. Rose typically could handle herself just fine, but he still didn't want to leave her alone in such a dangerous place longer than he had to.

The elevator doors opened up to reveal a short corridor with a door at the end. He stepped out and approached the sign that detailed the hazards he would face. It remained dark for a moment longer than normal, and the door remained shut. The robot began to speak in its monotone, giving an explanation of what he was about to encounter.

* * *

"Due to mandatory scheduled maintainance, the apropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable," GLaDOS lied for the umpteenth time.

Well, it wasn't really a lie. The "appropriate chamber" was technically in maintainance, but this chamber _was_ currently the standard one for this track. The only reason the other chamber existed was to account for the fact that she was no longer allowed to lie.

Just technicalities really.

"It has been replaced with a live fire course designed for military androids. The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvienience and wishes you the best of luck!"

* * *

The Doctor listened to the computer's speech, frowning slightly.

_Live fire... As in..._

The door opened and revealed several white oval-shaped robots with red tracking lasers scattered around the chamber. He was separated from all but one of them by a large glass pane. _Likely bulletproof._ He picked up the small robot in the room with him using the portal gun.

"Please put me down." the object requested in a soft, almost childlike voice. The Doctor cut the levitation on the gun and watched as it fell over. It let out a wild spray of bullets before shutting down.

_Turrets, _the Doctor thought, looking at the sterile white wall riddled with bullet holes.

_That's not good._

* * *

A/N: So yeah. It's been forever. Sorry bout all that. xP I'll try to update more frequently. :3


End file.
